June 15, 2009: Monday Again

My aunt is moving half way across the country in less than a month, and right now that reality is really hitting me. My aunt's name is Jamie. She is the person that I look up to most in life. If I could accomplish just half of what she has I would be content. I haven't talked to her since last August though. I have seen her many times, but something happened and nothing is the same. In August she got married to a very nice man and I am very happy for her. He was going to move here next year or something along those lines. But that changed all the sudden. Now she is leaving to join him in North Carolina. The whole family lives right here in Texas and she is leaving us behind. I know its hard on the whole family. But I guess it is really hard on me because my role model changed into a person I don't know. Sometimes I think back at how it used to be. I remember going to the Dallas Art Museum. And I remember when she lived in this apartment and I stayed over and we watched Cinderella, and the next day we made chocolate chip cookies for her best friend Colin. And I remember admiring the way she lived her life. I remember when she lived in a Duplex with her first husband we used to play Yahtzee. And now I'm not sure if she would care to spend time with me at all. I guess I just miss my aunt. And I don't want her to go, but I don't know how to tell her that. When I think about it I cry. There are not many people in this world that I can say I look up to. Of course everyone in my family I look up to, but my aunt Jamie is who caused me to have a love of art and theatre and culture. So many people have told me how I am so much like her. Thats a compliment. But I'm so hurt because she is going and will probably never know how it is tearing me apart.